Thought about changing the flow of the story. I might as well add the POVs of other characters that I think is relevant to make the story more interesting. I edited the previous posts already for this. Thank you for losing your way to my blog. lol
FREUD
"Freud, what's happening to you?" tanong ni Mom sa akin. On the way na kami pauwi. Pinili kong umupo sa back seat upang hindi masyadong mapansin ni Mom na tulala ako at wala sa sarili.
Hindi ako sumagot. Wala pa rin ako sa huwisyo. Feeling ko, lutang na ang utak ko.
I just had my first kiss... Medyo may kilig akong naramdaman. Pero napalitan lang agad ng inis nang maalala kong smack lang naman ang naganap sa amin ni Risk.
Tumingin na lang ako sa labas ng bintana. Maganda pala ang lugar namin kapag gabi. Maraming mumunting ilaw sa paligid mula sa mga malalaking bahay na nadadaanan namin. Parang mga alitaptap ang mga ito kung titignan.
May hindi pa pala ako nasasabi. Ayaw ko kasing mapagkamalang mayabang.
Let's just put it this way. May-kaya ang pamilya ko. Ayaw kong sabihing mayaman dahil sa tingin ko ay hindi naman talaga, kumpara sa mga kapitbahay naming nagmamay-ari ng malalaking bahay at magagarang kotse.
My dad is a lawyer. He is a co-owner of a top law firm in the city. He handles most of celebrity lawsuits. Hindi ko nga alam kung paano napunta si Dad sa sector na 'yon. Ang pagkakaalam ko kasi, ayaw ni Dad sa mundo ng mga artista. Masyado raw kasi magulo ang mundong 'yon.
My mom, on the other hand, is a fashion magazine editor. She used to write for a newspaper publishing company when I was still in my elementary days pero dahil fashion talaga ang isinisigaw ng kanyang puso, she moved to the fashion magazine segment of the same publishing company.
Siguro masisipag lang talaga ang mga magulang ko kaya't naabot nila ang rurok ng kanilang tagumpay. Sana lang ay magtagumpay din ako sa career ko.
Napansin kong nagpapawis ako. "Mom, is the aircon on?" tanong ko kay Mom.
"Yeah. Why? Naiinitan ka ba?" tanong pabalik ni Mom.
"Medyo po. May water po ba kayo sa kotse?" Hindi lang ako naiinitan. Medyo umiikot na rin ang paningin ko. Sobra pa ang nararamdaman kong uhaw. Humiga na ako since hindi ko alam ang nangyayari sa akin.
As if on cue, Mom stopped the car, went out and opened the car door near my feet. She opened the lights inside and with my vision doubling, I saw her frightened face.
Unti-unti na lang akong nawalan ng malay.
RISK
My day was crazy.
Although I'm really getting used to home-law school-home life I've been having for the past few months, I guess this is a relief.
Wondering why?
I just kissed the first guy in my life.
Don't call me gay just yet.
Maybe it was his aura. I felt his terror when I asked him if he was gay.
Maybe it was his scent. He smelled like vanilla.
Maybe it was his lips. It was redder than any other girl's lips I've kissed.
I didn't know what came to me, but I just put my lips onto a guy's lips for a quick sec.
Good thing I stopped myself from kissing him intimately.
I guess, I was attracted to him, after all.
Should I hate myself for feeling this?
Or should I just enjoy this and play along?
I gave him my number. 'Might as well find out for myself what will happen.
Honestly, I'm getting bored with girls, anyway.
--
We were just closing my mom's newly opened restaurant when her phone rang. I was arranging the chairs and I overheard her saying something about hospital, attack, and Freud.
Wait, Freud was the guy I just kissed!
Nilapitan ko si Mommy and asked what was the call about. She said it was Tita Pepper and that Freud was sent to the hospital. According to Tita Per, Freud had an attack. Sabi rin ni Mommy na susunod siya sa hospital.
I volunteered to come with her. Although Mommy gave me a questioning look, I just took my keys and went straight to my car.
Kani-kanina lang naman ay okay pa si Freud. Did something happen after I kissed him?
Nakarating din kami sa ospital. Nasa isang private room si Freud naka-confine. Pagpasok namin ni Mommy, wala namang complicated apparatus na nakakabit kay Freud. Tita Pepper was sitting beside him and I guess she was still in shock.
Then Tita told what happened.
Diabetic pala si Freud.
Pero hindi naman mahahalata sa mukha nito na diabetic ito. Masayang-masaya pa nga ito habang kinakain ang baked kong cake.
Tita was blaming herself for what happened.
Pero nakaramdam din ako ng guilt. Mommy also felt the same.
"Kung hindi ko siya siguro inalok ng dessert, hindi siya magkakaganito," mahinang pag-amin ni Mommy.
"No... I should have stopped him. Pero akala ko mapapasaya ang anak ko ng mga sweets. Ilang araw din kasi siyang umiiwas sa akin. Parang may tinatago siya sa akin," sabi ni Tita.
The two women continued to talk. I just stood, observing Freud. He was breathing slowly. Hindi ko mapigilang magtaka kung bakit ang isang mukhang ganito ay may pinagdadaanang problema. Sa pag-ibig kaya?
Hindi hamak na mas gwapo ako kay Freud. Pero kumpara sa akin, mukhang baby face siya. He doesn't have stubble in his face. No wrinkles on the forehead, no blemishes.
And those lips. Hmmm.
Niyaya ni Mommy si Tita na mag-coffee sa cafeteria. I decided to stay, just in case magising na si Freud. Tita was hesitating, but I assured her that I'll call her once Freud wakes up.
Nang maiwan na kami ni Freud sa kwarto, umupo ako sa tabi niya. Not stopping myself, I placed my hand over his forehead. He felt warm. I brushed away strands of his brown hair that was partly covering his eyes. Medyo mahaba kasi ang buhok ni Freud. I traced the outline of his face with a finger and it stopped on his lips.
Ang lambot talaga ng mga labi nito.
Letting whatever I was feeling take over, I kissed him again. This time, with more passion.
Hindi pa man tumatagal ang halik na binibigay ko ay nagising na si Freud. Hinintay kong magmulat na siya nang tuluyan bago ko ilayo ang mukha ko sa kanya.
Tulad ng inaasahan ko, nagulat siya nang makita ako. Namula rin siya nang husto.
"Are you feeling better?" tanong ko sa kanya.
"H-huh? A-ano bang n-nangyari sa akin?" tanong niya pabalik.
"The doctor said your blood sugar reached too high. Diabetic ka pala, pero you still ate my cake. Matigas din ulo mo 'no?" ang sagot ko. Inayos ko ang unan nito.
"S-so what are y-you doing h-here?" tanong niya habang pinapanood ako.
"Masama bang dumalaw? And you shouldn't be talking yet. Nanghihina ka pa. Mommy and Tita just went to the cafeteria to have coffee. Alalang-alala si Tita sa'yo," sabi ko.
Natahimik siya. Siguro ay kinukuyog na siya ng konsensya niya.
Ilang sandali ay nagsalita ulit siya. "W-why was your face t-too close to me p-pagkagising ko?"
Ngumiti ako nang pilyo. "Do you really want to know?"
Bigla siyang namula. Natawa ako sa reaksyon niya.
"I was kissing you. Again," pag-amin ko.
"W-why would you d-do that?"
"Your lips are better than any other girl's. I find it addicting," I said with a little tease in my voice.
"G-gan'on ba..." Natahimik na naman siya. Pero nakatutok pa rin ang mga mata niya sa akin.
"Would you like to try again?"
"N-no! I-I mean, you're straight. Y-you're not even m-my..." Humina ang boses niya.
"Your? Your boyfriend?" Nag-e-enjoy na talaga ako sa nangyayari.
"O-oo. A-and I can tell, pinagti-tripan mo lang ako. K-kaya please, t-tigilan mo na lang ako."
"What if I don't want to? What if I tell you that I want to be your boyfriend?"
Nagulat siya sa tanong ko. I guess, I was half-serious, half-playing when I asked the question.
Hindi siya nakasagot. Kinukutkot lang niya ang mga kuko niya.
Nainip ako. Ilang minuto rin kasi siyang tahimik.
"Ano? Ayaw mo ba sa akin?" medyo pasigaw kong tanong sa kanya. Pero ang totoo, hindi naman ako galit.
"O-oo na, s-sige na," mahina pa rin niyang pagsagot.
"Hindi kita marinig." Nilakasan ko pa ang boses ko.
"O-oo na. Ikaw na ang boyfriend ko." Nakatingin na siya sa akin. Mukhang inis na inis na siya sa akin.
"Great. What better way to celebrate our relationship than with a kiss." Hindi na ako nagpaligoy-ligoy pa. I took his lips again. But now, I was not too aggressive. I let him discover what he needs to learn. I gave him time to be familiar with the feeling. After a while, naramdaman ko na ang paglaban niya sa mga halik ko.
Sa loob loob ko, natutuwa ako sa nangyayari. Siguro nga ay hindi ko mahal si Freud, but who knows? I'm not gonna be a jerk with him. I'll try to be a good boyfriend to him. At kung hindi ko naman kaya ang ganitong set-up, I'll just be true to him. Mas makakayanan ko pa na magalit siya kaysa mapuno ang isip niya ng mga bagay na hindi naman mangyayari.
Finally, something happened that will make my life exciting.
Well, call me gay or whatever. I don't care.
Or so I thought.
Mahirap pala ang ganitong relasyon.
Lalo na kapag nahuli ka ng nanay mo at ng nanay niya na naghahalikan.
ERROL
Ilang araw na akong hindi matahimik.
Ilang araw na rin akong kinokonsensiya.
Nahuli ako ng taong mahal ko na may kasamang iba.
Na may ginawang milagro sa CR.
Hindi ko na alam kung papaano pa maibabalik ang dating "kami".
Siya lang naman ang minahal ko nang tunay.
At siya pa rin ang mahal ko hanggang ngayon.
Kahit tatlong taon na ang lumipas.
Magagawa pa rin niya kaya akong patawarin?
Magagawa pa rin niya kaya akong mahalin tulad nang dati?
Pero wala akong magagawa.
Kung nasa piling pa rin ako ng iba.
Kung sa ngayon ay yakap yakap pa rin ako ng iba.
Sa loob ng malamig at madilim na kwartong ito.
Hindi ako sumagot. Wala pa rin ako sa huwisyo. Feeling ko, lutang na ang utak ko.
I just had my first kiss... Medyo may kilig akong naramdaman. Pero napalitan lang agad ng inis nang maalala kong smack lang naman ang naganap sa amin ni Risk.
Tumingin na lang ako sa labas ng bintana. Maganda pala ang lugar namin kapag gabi. Maraming mumunting ilaw sa paligid mula sa mga malalaking bahay na nadadaanan namin. Parang mga alitaptap ang mga ito kung titignan.
May hindi pa pala ako nasasabi. Ayaw ko kasing mapagkamalang mayabang.
Let's just put it this way. May-kaya ang pamilya ko. Ayaw kong sabihing mayaman dahil sa tingin ko ay hindi naman talaga, kumpara sa mga kapitbahay naming nagmamay-ari ng malalaking bahay at magagarang kotse.
My dad is a lawyer. He is a co-owner of a top law firm in the city. He handles most of celebrity lawsuits. Hindi ko nga alam kung paano napunta si Dad sa sector na 'yon. Ang pagkakaalam ko kasi, ayaw ni Dad sa mundo ng mga artista. Masyado raw kasi magulo ang mundong 'yon.
My mom, on the other hand, is a fashion magazine editor. She used to write for a newspaper publishing company when I was still in my elementary days pero dahil fashion talaga ang isinisigaw ng kanyang puso, she moved to the fashion magazine segment of the same publishing company.
Siguro masisipag lang talaga ang mga magulang ko kaya't naabot nila ang rurok ng kanilang tagumpay. Sana lang ay magtagumpay din ako sa career ko.
Napansin kong nagpapawis ako. "Mom, is the aircon on?" tanong ko kay Mom.
"Yeah. Why? Naiinitan ka ba?" tanong pabalik ni Mom.
"Medyo po. May water po ba kayo sa kotse?" Hindi lang ako naiinitan. Medyo umiikot na rin ang paningin ko. Sobra pa ang nararamdaman kong uhaw. Humiga na ako since hindi ko alam ang nangyayari sa akin.
As if on cue, Mom stopped the car, went out and opened the car door near my feet. She opened the lights inside and with my vision doubling, I saw her frightened face.
Unti-unti na lang akong nawalan ng malay.
RISK
My day was crazy.
Although I'm really getting used to home-law school-home life I've been having for the past few months, I guess this is a relief.
Wondering why?
I just kissed the first guy in my life.
Don't call me gay just yet.
Maybe it was his aura. I felt his terror when I asked him if he was gay.
Maybe it was his scent. He smelled like vanilla.
Maybe it was his lips. It was redder than any other girl's lips I've kissed.
I didn't know what came to me, but I just put my lips onto a guy's lips for a quick sec.
Good thing I stopped myself from kissing him intimately.
I guess, I was attracted to him, after all.
Should I hate myself for feeling this?
Or should I just enjoy this and play along?
I gave him my number. 'Might as well find out for myself what will happen.
Honestly, I'm getting bored with girls, anyway.
--
We were just closing my mom's newly opened restaurant when her phone rang. I was arranging the chairs and I overheard her saying something about hospital, attack, and Freud.
Wait, Freud was the guy I just kissed!
Nilapitan ko si Mommy and asked what was the call about. She said it was Tita Pepper and that Freud was sent to the hospital. According to Tita Per, Freud had an attack. Sabi rin ni Mommy na susunod siya sa hospital.
I volunteered to come with her. Although Mommy gave me a questioning look, I just took my keys and went straight to my car.
Kani-kanina lang naman ay okay pa si Freud. Did something happen after I kissed him?
Nakarating din kami sa ospital. Nasa isang private room si Freud naka-confine. Pagpasok namin ni Mommy, wala namang complicated apparatus na nakakabit kay Freud. Tita Pepper was sitting beside him and I guess she was still in shock.
Then Tita told what happened.
Diabetic pala si Freud.
Pero hindi naman mahahalata sa mukha nito na diabetic ito. Masayang-masaya pa nga ito habang kinakain ang baked kong cake.
Tita was blaming herself for what happened.
Pero nakaramdam din ako ng guilt. Mommy also felt the same.
"Kung hindi ko siya siguro inalok ng dessert, hindi siya magkakaganito," mahinang pag-amin ni Mommy.
"No... I should have stopped him. Pero akala ko mapapasaya ang anak ko ng mga sweets. Ilang araw din kasi siyang umiiwas sa akin. Parang may tinatago siya sa akin," sabi ni Tita.
The two women continued to talk. I just stood, observing Freud. He was breathing slowly. Hindi ko mapigilang magtaka kung bakit ang isang mukhang ganito ay may pinagdadaanang problema. Sa pag-ibig kaya?
Hindi hamak na mas gwapo ako kay Freud. Pero kumpara sa akin, mukhang baby face siya. He doesn't have stubble in his face. No wrinkles on the forehead, no blemishes.
And those lips. Hmmm.
Niyaya ni Mommy si Tita na mag-coffee sa cafeteria. I decided to stay, just in case magising na si Freud. Tita was hesitating, but I assured her that I'll call her once Freud wakes up.
Nang maiwan na kami ni Freud sa kwarto, umupo ako sa tabi niya. Not stopping myself, I placed my hand over his forehead. He felt warm. I brushed away strands of his brown hair that was partly covering his eyes. Medyo mahaba kasi ang buhok ni Freud. I traced the outline of his face with a finger and it stopped on his lips.
Ang lambot talaga ng mga labi nito.
Letting whatever I was feeling take over, I kissed him again. This time, with more passion.
Hindi pa man tumatagal ang halik na binibigay ko ay nagising na si Freud. Hinintay kong magmulat na siya nang tuluyan bago ko ilayo ang mukha ko sa kanya.
Tulad ng inaasahan ko, nagulat siya nang makita ako. Namula rin siya nang husto.
"Are you feeling better?" tanong ko sa kanya.
"H-huh? A-ano bang n-nangyari sa akin?" tanong niya pabalik.
"The doctor said your blood sugar reached too high. Diabetic ka pala, pero you still ate my cake. Matigas din ulo mo 'no?" ang sagot ko. Inayos ko ang unan nito.
"S-so what are y-you doing h-here?" tanong niya habang pinapanood ako.
"Masama bang dumalaw? And you shouldn't be talking yet. Nanghihina ka pa. Mommy and Tita just went to the cafeteria to have coffee. Alalang-alala si Tita sa'yo," sabi ko.
Natahimik siya. Siguro ay kinukuyog na siya ng konsensya niya.
Ilang sandali ay nagsalita ulit siya. "W-why was your face t-too close to me p-pagkagising ko?"
Ngumiti ako nang pilyo. "Do you really want to know?"
Bigla siyang namula. Natawa ako sa reaksyon niya.
"I was kissing you. Again," pag-amin ko.
"W-why would you d-do that?"
"Your lips are better than any other girl's. I find it addicting," I said with a little tease in my voice.
"G-gan'on ba..." Natahimik na naman siya. Pero nakatutok pa rin ang mga mata niya sa akin.
"Would you like to try again?"
"N-no! I-I mean, you're straight. Y-you're not even m-my..." Humina ang boses niya.
"Your? Your boyfriend?" Nag-e-enjoy na talaga ako sa nangyayari.
"O-oo. A-and I can tell, pinagti-tripan mo lang ako. K-kaya please, t-tigilan mo na lang ako."
"What if I don't want to? What if I tell you that I want to be your boyfriend?"
Nagulat siya sa tanong ko. I guess, I was half-serious, half-playing when I asked the question.
Hindi siya nakasagot. Kinukutkot lang niya ang mga kuko niya.
Nainip ako. Ilang minuto rin kasi siyang tahimik.
"Ano? Ayaw mo ba sa akin?" medyo pasigaw kong tanong sa kanya. Pero ang totoo, hindi naman ako galit.
"O-oo na, s-sige na," mahina pa rin niyang pagsagot.
"Hindi kita marinig." Nilakasan ko pa ang boses ko.
"O-oo na. Ikaw na ang boyfriend ko." Nakatingin na siya sa akin. Mukhang inis na inis na siya sa akin.
"Great. What better way to celebrate our relationship than with a kiss." Hindi na ako nagpaligoy-ligoy pa. I took his lips again. But now, I was not too aggressive. I let him discover what he needs to learn. I gave him time to be familiar with the feeling. After a while, naramdaman ko na ang paglaban niya sa mga halik ko.
Sa loob loob ko, natutuwa ako sa nangyayari. Siguro nga ay hindi ko mahal si Freud, but who knows? I'm not gonna be a jerk with him. I'll try to be a good boyfriend to him. At kung hindi ko naman kaya ang ganitong set-up, I'll just be true to him. Mas makakayanan ko pa na magalit siya kaysa mapuno ang isip niya ng mga bagay na hindi naman mangyayari.
Finally, something happened that will make my life exciting.
Well, call me gay or whatever. I don't care.
Or so I thought.
Mahirap pala ang ganitong relasyon.
Lalo na kapag nahuli ka ng nanay mo at ng nanay niya na naghahalikan.
ERROL
Ilang araw na akong hindi matahimik.
Ilang araw na rin akong kinokonsensiya.
Nahuli ako ng taong mahal ko na may kasamang iba.
Na may ginawang milagro sa CR.
Hindi ko na alam kung papaano pa maibabalik ang dating "kami".
Siya lang naman ang minahal ko nang tunay.
At siya pa rin ang mahal ko hanggang ngayon.
Kahit tatlong taon na ang lumipas.
Magagawa pa rin niya kaya akong patawarin?
Magagawa pa rin niya kaya akong mahalin tulad nang dati?
Pero wala akong magagawa.
Kung nasa piling pa rin ako ng iba.
Kung sa ngayon ay yakap yakap pa rin ako ng iba.
Sa loob ng malamig at madilim na kwartong ito.
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